[Blog] Sleep Training 101
How to help your baby to sleep through the night
If you're a parent struggling with sleepless nights and endless wake-ups, you're not alone. Sleep training can be a game-changer in helping your baby learn how to sleep independently. But what exactly is sleep training, when should you start, and what method works best? We break it all down in this blog, based on Episode 3 of The Modern Indian Parent Podcast.
Check out the full episode:
What Is Sleep Training?
Sleep training is often misunderstood. Many assume it means letting a baby "cry it out" alone in a dark room. In reality, sleep training is the process of teaching your baby to fall asleep independently, so they no longer rely on external sleep aids such as nursing, rocking, or patting.
As babies sleep in cycles, they naturally wake up multiple times during the night. Sleep-trained babies learn to connect their sleep cycles without needing a caregiver’s intervention. The goal isn’t just longer sleep but more restful and uninterrupted sleep.
“Sleep training is the process of teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own. And when they wake up between sleep cycles, they can soothe themselves back to sleep.” – Rinie Gupta
What Is the Best Age for Sleep Training?
There is no universal "best" age for sleep training. The right time depends on when your sleep setup is no longer sustainable. However, the most common age range for sleep training is between five to seven months. At this stage, babies are developmentally ready to self-soothe.
But sleep training can be done at almost any age. Some parents start as early as five months, while others successfully sleep train toddlers. The key is readiness—both yours and your baby’s.
“If you ask me, is there a right age for sleep training? No. It's about when you are ready for it.” – Rinie Gupta
What Is the Best Sleep Training Method?
Sleep training isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. There are several methods, ranging from minimal to maximum parental involvement. Here are the main ones:
Cry It Out (Extinction Method)
Lay your baby down and leave the room. No check-ins.
Works quickly but is often too harsh for many parents.
Ferber Method (Check-and-Console)
Lay your baby down and check in at intervals (e.g., 5, 10, 15 minutes).
Offers some reassurance while allowing independence.
Chair Method
Sit next to your baby as they fall asleep, gradually moving farther away over nights.
Takes longer but is gentler.
Recommended for babies and toddlers with higher levels of separation anxiety.
Pick Up-Put Down
Pick up your baby when they cry, soothe them, then put them back down.
Works best for younger babies under four months.
Every method involves some level of crying because change is hard for babies. But crying doesn’t mean harm. It’s simply their way of expressing frustration over a new routine.
“Tears are your child's way of expressing that they don’t like something. But you are setting a boundary, and it's okay for them to not like that boundary.” – Rinie Gupta
Check out our full episode:
Is It Safe for Babies to Cry During Sleep Training?
A major concern parents have is whether allowing a baby to cry during sleep training is harmful. The answer is: it depends on the method and the approach you take.
Babies communicate through crying, and when you introduce a new sleep routine, they may express their frustration through tears. However, crying does not mean they are in distress or feeling abandoned. The key is to differentiate between "protest crying" and "distress crying."
“Tears during sleep training are not a sign of harm. They are a sign of adjustment to a new skill.” – Rinie Gupta
Studies indicate that sleep training is generally safe and beneficial for both infants and parents. A 2006 review by Jodi A. Mindell examined 52 studies on various sleep training methods and found that 49 of them reported decreased resistance to sleep and reduced night awakenings.
Additionally, a 2012 study conducted by Michael Gradisar and colleagues investigated the effects of two common sleep training techniques: "controlled comforting" and "camping out." The study found that both methods were effective in reducing infants' sleep problems and that there were no long-term negative effects on children's emotional development or the parent-child relationship.
Does Sleep Training Damage Attachment?
A big myth surrounding sleep training is that it negatively affects a baby's attachment to their caregivers. Research contradicts this fear—babies who sleep train successfully do not develop insecure attachments to their parents. In fact, well-rested babies tend to be happier, more engaged, and better able to self-regulate emotions during the day.
Secure attachment is built through consistent responsiveness during waking hours, not necessarily by responding instantly to every night waking.
A 2012 study led by Anna M. H. Price assessed the long-term effects of behavioral sleep interventions. The findings revealed no significant differences in emotional health, behavior, or parent-child attachment between children who underwent sleep training and those who did not, even after a five-year follow-up.
These studies suggest that sleep training can be a beneficial strategy for parents aiming to improve their infants' sleep patterns without compromising their well-being.
What If Mom Wants to Sleep Train but Dad/Grandma Isn’t Supportive?
Many families face resistance from partners or elders who may not understand sleep training. Here’s how to navigate that challenge:
Educate with Evidence – Share research-backed articles and pediatric recommendations that support sleep training.
Set Clear Expectations – Explain that sleep training does not mean neglecting the baby but rather teaching a life skill.
Involve Them in the Process – Have them participate in setting up bedtime routines so they feel included.
Show Progress – Once they see the baby sleeping better and being happier during the day, their skepticism often fades.
“Grandparents often worry that sleep training is cruel, but once they see a well-rested grandchild, they change their minds.” – Rinie Gupta
How to Get Started With Sleep Training
If you’ve decided to begin sleep training, here’s a step-by-step approach:
Establish a Consistent Bedtime Routine
Bath, book, and bed at the same time each night.
Keep the environment dark and quiet.
Choose a Sleep Training Method
Decide between methods like the Ferber Method, Chair Method, or Pick Up-Put Down.
Start at the Right Time
The best age to begin is between 5-7 months, but adjustments can be made for younger or older babies.
Stay Consistent
Expect some resistance in the first few nights, but stick to your plan.
Track Progress
Note down wake-ups and improvements to stay motivated.
Final Thoughts
Sleep training is a personal choice, but when done correctly, it leads to well-rested babies and parents. Remember, crying is a form of communication, not harm, and sleep training does not damage attachment—it strengthens it by helping babies develop independent sleep skills.
If you're ready to embark on your sleep training journey, check out our full episode: